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Choosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start with We>Me
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Review
"Debra Fileta writes with passion and heart in this compelling book. She shows all of us how to overcome the inevitable challenges of married life by making the right choices. In short, Debra reveals how choosing marriage, every day, leads to deep and abiding lifelong love. Whether you are single, engaged or married, you don't want to miss out on this profound and practical message." -- Drs. Les & Leslie ParrottNew York Times bestselling authors of Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts "When I met Debra Fileta, I was instantly encouraged: and you will be, too. Whether you're a happy couple, in need of help, or a single looking ahead, Choosing Marriage is a tour de force for anyone seeking to achieve a great marriage. My team and I see a lot of great marriage books - and this is one of the best we've ever read. You'll quickly find practical, achievable suggestions, humor, and road-tested insight from years of working marriage therapy. Debra's focus on believing the best echoes my own research into happy marriages, and her advice for couples in need provides hope for those who need it most. This is a must-read!" -- Shaunti Feldhahn, social researcher and best-selling author of For Women Only and The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages  "Choosing Marriage is a must-read for anyone who is hoping to marry someday AND for those who want to improve their marriage. In the book, Fileta masterfully addresses what it takes to cultivate and keep a thriving marriage through real life stories, practical tips, Biblical scripture, and probing questions. She gives both married and single people hope that they, too, can foster an amazing, lifelong marriage with the one they love." -- Dave and Ashley Willis, StrongerMarriages.org"No matter what season of marriage you are in, Choosing Marriage will offer encouragement and hope to find even more satisfaction in your relationship. Debra's counseling experience and biblical knowledge are woven together with some great stories and practical advice to help every couple learn how to experience a richer, more meaningful life together."-- John Fuller, Focus on the Family"Choosing Marriage is the kind of book that you will underline, highlight, dog-ear, re-read, and then subtly leave open on your spouse's side of the bed for them to (hopefully) pick up and read, forcing you to purchase clean copies for your family and friends. When we were seeking an author/speaker/expert for a large event on marriage and relationships in California we chose Debra Fileta, and the attenders loved her. When college students and young adults seek dating and relationship advice, we gift them with a copy of True Love Dates. And now, whenever we counsel those seeking insight and advice on marriage, we plan to give them Choosing Marriage. It is an engaging, insightful and professional look into the most intimate of all of our relationships--our marriages--that is based on Debra's clinical expertise, sound research and her own personal journey. For those of you who seek to choose marriage--who desire authentic intimacy, biblical insights, and practical ways to grow your marriage--you are holding the best book you can find in your hands. Please wait to highlight or dog-ear it after you purchase it."-- Dr. Chris and Alisa Grace, Center for Marriage and Relationships, Biola University "Put this book at the top of your reading list and buy one for a friend! My bride and I really enjoyed reading Choosing Marriage together. We were inspired and challenged to have a healthier relationship and given practical advice on how to do it. It's evident that Debra is not only a much sought after national speaker, but also a highly skilled author." -- Chris Reed, Pastor to 20s/30s & Singles at Saddleback Church, Lake Forest, CA  "Debra Fileta is a gifted counselor and an excellent communicator. Choosing Marriage is a true masterpiece among the crowded shelves of marriage books. It is for everyone who is married or has a future marriage on their radar. Debra very practically walks you through changes that will literally transform any marriage. Choosing Marriage redefines real hope in marriage!"-- Kim Kimberling, Founder of Awesome Marriage and author of 7 Secrets to an Awesome Marriage
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About the Author
Debra Fileta is a professional counselor, national speaker, relationship expert, and author of True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life, where she writes candidly about dating, relationships, and how to find true love. She's the creator of TrueLoveDates.com, reaching millions of people with the message that healthy people make healthy relationships! You may also recognize her voice from her 200+ articles at Relevant Magazine, Crosswalk.com, and all across the web! Connect with her on Facebook or Twitter!
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Product details
Paperback: 224 pages
Publisher: Harvest House Publishers (May 1, 2018)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0736973389
ISBN-13: 978-0736973380
Product Dimensions:
5.5 x 0.5 x 8.5 inches
Shipping Weight: 8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.9 out of 5 stars
95 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#22,464 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
This book is incredible! Debra's insights as a counselor are unlike anything I have ever read and will change my relationships forever. The survey results from 1000 singles/1000 couples were really eye opening, but more importantly she presented solutions and offered hope in many areas: dealing with unmet expectations, how to be authentic, how to protect your marriage, dealing with conflict, issues with sex, how to truly become "one", and many more.Many relationship books are about a couples' journey or their advice that worked for them, Debra is unique in that your are getting perspective from a licensed counselor and relationship expert who has worked with countless clients! Her wisdom shines through and her approach to a number of subjects are so unique, refreshing, and inspiring. She does a masterful job of approaching relationships with her clinical wisdom, but rooted in her deep love for Jesus. I wish someone would have told or taught me countless things in this book years ago.I loved reading her stories of couples and singles she worked with, many real-life examples made the book very connectable and authentic. My favorite chapters were Alter that Ego, From Pride to Humility (where you actually learn what a proper apology should look like in a relationship and the power of humility in a relationship); Sex Marks the Spot, From Infatuation to Adoration (amazing chapter about navigating sex and dealing with problem spots); and Walls Will Fall, From Vulnerability to Intimacy (If you are single, READ this book to get a front row seat into what marriage will look like and more importantly the qualities you should be looking for in your future spouse!if you are dating/engaged READ this book to learn more about your relationship, future areas and topics you need to discuss and more importantly how to handle them.if you are married (whether for a year or 50 yrs) READ this book to transform your marriage, Debra will equip you with the tools to deal with issues you may be struggling with and even more how to identity them.I walked away from this book so encouraged and filled with hope as I got a glimpse of what God's best in relationship should look like.
Debra Fileta’s newest book Choosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start with We > Me is even better than I expected. I loved her book True Love Dates and consistently learn so much from her blog. Debra is a wonderful storyteller, and her vulnerability shines through her writing. She understands the struggles of navigating life as both a single and a married Christian, and her training as a professional counselor adds even more depth and insight. Debra’s writing style is familiar and never judgmental or prescriptive, a combination that is sadly rare in many Christian relationship books.Her latest book is expertly written to include both singles and married couples in its intended audience. I have to admit that I was skeptical at first since I have experienced the feeling of exclusion in books and studies that are clearly for married people even if they claim otherwise. Choosing Marriage succeeds in going over and above my expectations. Debra’s focus on authenticity and personal stories is refreshing. Reading this book is like soaking up encouragement and advice from a best friend over a cup of coffee.“Choosing to love someone is so much more meaningful than needing someone to love.â€This quote is near the end of Choosing Marriage, but it stopped me in my tracks. Such a simple phrase—14 words that hold so much meaning.I needed that reminder, and I know I’m not the only person who is sometimes tempted to make relationship decisions out of the deep need and longing for companionship rather than from choices of what is right and healthy. And someday, when I do find someone, I hope with God’s help to be able to choose to love him every day—not from a desperate need but from a committed and daily choice.
Debra has now written two books that have completely shifted my perspective relationships. The first on what dating is (with her first book True Love Dates) and now what marriage will one day be for me with Choosing Marriage. I'm single, and I was able to break down misconceptions I had about what it means to be married one day. Now, I feel ready to start on preparing myself for marriage in a way that matches God's design for marriage. This book can also help strengthen marriages and help engaged couples be better prepared for the commitment they are about to make. If you want to know more about God's heart for you and your spouse, you need to read this book.
I had the privilege of reading Choosing Marriage for a review and it did not disappoint. Please do not let the title fool you, this book is not just for married couples or just for singles, it is for everyone There is so much wisdom and insight in this book, I honestly could read it more than once and get something out of it every time.As a single woman, I appreciate a book that shows marriage for what it is. Marriage is beautiful and but it is also hard work. I think my generation has been jaded from Holly wood, that you meet the "right" person, fall in love, have kids and everything is peachy. However, if your marriage is not how you dreamed it would be then, it's OK to fall out of love and move on to next pretty face that makes you happy. Debra does a good job of debunking this myth and helping singles and married couple clear out the cob webs of what society has taught us. "Marriage is a blessing, but it doesn't happen by chance. A good marriage comes from a decision of choices."In her book, she will point you straight to Jesus and remind us that no one can fulfill us but Him. One of my favorite quotes (and I have many favorites)from the book is "Marriage can't fulfill us to overflowing, only Jesus can. If anything marriage reveals our emptiness. It can certainly add drops of water to our emotional bucket, but it can never fill us the way we need to be filled."I highly recommend this book and also Debra's book True loves dates. I hope this book encourages you, just like it encouraged me to choose marriage.
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